Death has been an unpleasant part of the human experience ever since the day God revealed to Adam and Eve that their estrangement from Him would result in dying. “You will surely die,” God told them, no doubt with tears in His voice (Genesis 2:17).

Dying was not a part of the original, divine plan for God’s created family. But with the interruption of that plan by Lucifer’s rebellion and Adam’s and Eve’s fall, dying became the distinguishing feature of every Earthbound species, separating us all from every other animate creature in God’s perfect universe.

Today we are so accustomed to death that we speak of people as dying of “natural causes.” By this unfortunate phrase we mean the dying that occurs through the aging process. It wasn’t always so. Fresh from the Creator’s hand, with powerful immunities coursing-through their bloodstreams, the inhabitants of the antediluvian period lived for centuries, some thriving for almost a thousand years! Now we speak of people in their 70s as old, and virtually no one survives into their 80s and 90s without a serious diminishing of physical and mental activity.

This slow death by “natural causes” may be to teenagers the most incongruous of all the ways we die. Bursting with optimism, blessed with an abundance of energy and eager to experience whatever their future holds, youth are notoriously shortsighted when it comes to lifespan. Topics such as exercise, nutrition, obesity, serum cholesterol levels, dangers of smoking, hypertension, and preventative medicine usually have a much greater impact on an older crowd.

Which is not to say that death and dying issues don’t impact teens.
More and more youth are exposed each day to the tragic loss of life among teenagers due to preventable causes: violence, substance abuse, disease, alcohol-related accidents, AIDS, suicide, etc. The great majority of teenagers in North America have been touched by the death of classmates, friends or family members.

What’s Behind the Fear of Death?

1. Pain. Does it hurt to die?
2. Finality. The premature interruption of life's activites.
3. Fear of the unknown. What happens after we die?
4. Guilt. Could I have done something to prevent the death?
5. Worry. When and how will I die? 

Experts who study death and dying issues have identified certain emotional stages through which a grieving person goes after suffering the loss of a loved one or friend, or even after finding out that someone close has a terminal condition. People seldom move smoothly from one stage to the next. We may experience several stages at the same time, move back and forth between stages, or skip stages. The healing process is different for everyone, and there is no timetable.

The stages of this grieving process usually include the following:

The Grieving Process

1. Denial. The initial sense of shock over the loss or potential loss causes many people to doubt, or refuse to believe, the reality of death. 
2. Anger. It is common to question the “fairness” or "Justice” of death, even to blame God for abandoning His children. We feel cheated and often take out our anger on others.
3. Depression. When the reality of the loss sets in, many experience despair, isolation and withdrawal. This stage may be the most difficult and longest lasting of the stages.
4. Loneliness. The closer the grieving person was to the one who is dying or has died, the more keenly that person feels the loss, and the stronger the feeling of loneliness.
5. Acceptance. Though we don’t forget the loss, ultimately we accept and deal with the reality of the situation and move on.  

Five Ways to Help a Grieving Person

1. Listen. Let the grieving person talk openly and honestly. Be attentive and show interest. (See: Listening Skills.)
2. Talk About the Loss. Don’t hide your feelings. Talk about the person who is dying or who has died. Remember the good times, the laughter, the friendship.
3. Don’t Talk Too Much. Sometimes just being there is the support the grieving person most needs. Be sensitive. Crying together may be more important than talking.
4. Avoid Euphemisms. Phrases such as “gone away” or “passing on” often raise more questions. Be honest about dying.
5. Be Patient. It takes time to heal.  

Sources: The Bereaved Families of Ontario, Canada; The Metropolitan life Insurance Company; The National Center for Health Statistics; The Project on Death in America.



From: ABZ’s of Adventist Youth Ministry
Permission to copy for use in the local congregation or group.