It’s a simple fact that divorce is affecting more and more of our church families today. Without making judgments and accusations, youth workers will need to minister to kids who are affected by the breakup of the family. In a world that cares little about their pain, what better place to find healing than in their church youth group! You can provide the encouragement and support that will help them survive and maintain a faith relationship with Jesus.
Five Common Needs of Kids Experiencing Divorce
- A healthy outlet for their anger.
- The need to be accepted, a place to belong
- A relief from guilty feelings
- The need to feel normal
- Good role models
There are three things you can do to help in this painful time.
1. Reassure kids that they are loved.
Divorce almost always produces anger towards a parent, God, or somebody else. Help them work through their feelings. Encourage openness through your faithful friendship and total acceptance. Assure them that it is normal to feel anger, and allow them to process the emotion. Pray with and for the young person, taking every opportunity to show them that you care.
2. Affirm the kids worth and value.
Children of divorce tend to assume part of the blame for the failure of the relationship. This unhealthy guilt can cripple self-esteem, and cause some to withdraw emotionally. You can reassure the young person that they are not to blame for their parents’ decision. And assure them that nothing can change their great worth to you. Encourage forgiveness of both parents.
3. Provide a safe place for kids to hurt.
Ironically, church may be one of the places where kids of divorce may feel the least comfortable. Let’s change that by making our churches and youth groups “real.”
We can present a clear, true picture of a God who cares. We can accept painful behaviors and learn to handle them in a godly ways. We can provide security in times of loss. We can help other kids provide a support network to care for kids in crisis, and ultimately have kids who have been healed help others in the healing process.
From: ABZ’s of Adventist Youth Ministry
Permission to copy for use in the local congregation or group.
