Why do any of us need instruction in listening? After all, it’s one of the earliest capabilities we acquire, you never have to take a class in school on how to listen, and, in fact, the problem really seems to be that there’s way too much to listen to!

Actually, those are the very reasons we need to think more seriously about listening. We do so much of it; we just assume it takes place. We ignore the skills we could improve and consequently we don’t listen very well. And we have so many distractions; we tend to listen poorly to almost everything.

But when a teenager comes to you for spiritual help, or to pour out his or her heart about family challenges, or to find understanding on the really tough issues of life, you better be prepared to listen. Here are a few skills to work on for the sake of your youth.

Four Listening Skills

1. Minimize distractions. Stop whatever else you’re doing. Turn off the TV. Hang up the telephone. Close the book you’re reading. Turn away from your computer. Focus your attention on the person who’s talking to you.
2. Make eye contact. Look directly into the eyes of the person to whom you’re listening. Don’t be distracted by his or her gestures, a strong accent or style of speech, or he or she is wearing. Nod your head to provide feedback.
3. Clarify. Be sure you understand what the person is talking about. Ask intelligent, reflective questions: “Do I understand you correctly to be saying that…?” “Are you implying that…?” “What do you mean by that?” 
4. Stay on track. Don’t wander. Don’t digress or change the subject if the conversation is going well. Try to deal with one thing at a time. 

From: ABZ’s of Adventist Youth Ministry
Permission to copy for use in the local congregation or group.